I Need To Go
When people asked me why I am going to Africa I quickly and without hesitation respond that I
am going there to teach English. But as I was sitting on the plane from salt lake to New York, l
realized that's not why I am going. l'm going because I need to remember who I am and
allow myself time away from circumstances which were becoming parolizing detrimental. l know it seems like I am running away from my problems but I think for the first time in my life l
am facing them. One of my biggest problems I have is only being able to think about myself
and figure out how and if a situation will benefit me. This weakness of mine has negatively effected
every single relationship l have ever had because my personal desires get in the way of
me loving others the way they deserve to be loved. I hope this experience I am embarking on
will allow me to look past my vain ambitions and carnal desires and find a way to really love
others without any selfish motive. I want to be known for my integrity and to be the friend that
can always can be counted on. Actually, scratch that. I want to know myself as someone with integrity and to be the friend who can alway be counted on.
But still why do l have to travel all the way to Africa to learn this? my only answer is because I
am, in simple terms, an extreme person. I have slowly learned through trial and error that my
personality requires a great deal of attention and nourishment to change. luckily for me I found
this attention and nourishment in South africa for the two years I was there and I know africa can
teach me again. there's a saying that I have found personal relevance in, it says" l am not african because l was born in africa but because africa was born in me.'' there is something about the unforgivingly-harsh conditions in africa that gives me the desire to forgive. the forgiveness I am talking about isn't just forgiving others but forgiving myself, which is immensly harder for me to do. there is so much l need to let go of while I'm here in africa and my hope is to bury those regrets in the dense Africa clay to never return to me again. At this point you are probably thinking how you thought this would be more of a travel blog and I promise you will get plenty of that. But over these next two months l also want to be vulnerable and share about my personal growth. lf you decide to stick around and read l can't promise you will get much out of it. But if anything, maybe it'll give you the desire to tackle your own personal demons and find out a little more about yourself vicariously through me.
English in Bissau
realized that's not why I am going. l'm going because I need to remember who I am and
allow myself time away from circumstances which were becoming parolizing detrimental. l know it seems like I am running away from my problems but I think for the first time in my life l
am facing them. One of my biggest problems I have is only being able to think about myself
and figure out how and if a situation will benefit me. This weakness of mine has negatively effected
every single relationship l have ever had because my personal desires get in the way of
me loving others the way they deserve to be loved. I hope this experience I am embarking on
will allow me to look past my vain ambitions and carnal desires and find a way to really love
others without any selfish motive. I want to be known for my integrity and to be the friend that
can always can be counted on. Actually, scratch that. I want to know myself as someone with integrity and to be the friend who can alway be counted on.
But still why do l have to travel all the way to Africa to learn this? my only answer is because I
am, in simple terms, an extreme person. I have slowly learned through trial and error that my
personality requires a great deal of attention and nourishment to change. luckily for me I found
this attention and nourishment in South africa for the two years I was there and I know africa can
teach me again. there's a saying that I have found personal relevance in, it says" l am not african because l was born in africa but because africa was born in me.'' there is something about the unforgivingly-harsh conditions in africa that gives me the desire to forgive. the forgiveness I am talking about isn't just forgiving others but forgiving myself, which is immensly harder for me to do. there is so much l need to let go of while I'm here in africa and my hope is to bury those regrets in the dense Africa clay to never return to me again. At this point you are probably thinking how you thought this would be more of a travel blog and I promise you will get plenty of that. But over these next two months l also want to be vulnerable and share about my personal growth. lf you decide to stick around and read l can't promise you will get much out of it. But if anything, maybe it'll give you the desire to tackle your own personal demons and find out a little more about yourself vicariously through me.
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